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31 July 2009 @ 08:42 am
Paper Hearts  
Love is so weird I really do hate relationships.

In the last few months I've fallen madly in love with my boy again, broken it off and then fallen madly in love again. Just weird.... At the moment things there are as good as its going to get for a 4 year battle. Deffinatly out of the honeymoon stage. I never thought I would just settle, I always hoped I'd be with someone that gives me butterflies even 40 years later. When its good its really good and when its bad I'm wasting my time.

I'm quickly approaching adulthood (real adulthood not the I'm 18 now I'm an adult by law and not the 21 now I'm gonna buy lots of booze because I can) So I did what any normal partly insane person who fears being an adult does, I got a coming of age tattoo and I have to admit I pretty proud of it, its a large dandelion blowing its seeds in the wind, but mixed in the seeds are numbers... A custom piece created just for me by my new budding crush Matt (budding crush i.e not boy crush but friend- admire) He is the sweetest 30 year old with two little kids you could ever meet.

Thought for a good two months there I was clinically depressed and should seek medical attention, scary as I've never really been on any medication for my "feelings" then I figured it was my Corporate America job that was killing me. I hated my boss (still do, however she's never here so it makes my job easier) I feel trapped in my role. In order to survive you have to be this extreamly thick skined person that has not problems back stabbing and lying to everyone. I exsposed my boss to the "higher" boss telling him that she makes me look like shit because she takes credit for all my projects and throws me under the bus whenever she can. She bloss and I never want to be someone like that, there is no reason to be so cruel to people, no matter what your job is. So I figured at the end of the work day does it really matter? Will the world end if I don't put in 80+ hours of work this week? NO! No it won't so I'm not going to care nearly as much. So there!

I took up gutiar and put that down as my work consumed my life... even my camera and cupcake baking got put aside... I'm going to take scuba diving lessons for my cruise in October and I'm going to start babysitting the big DG boss's son on some weekends for extra cash... Things are slowly but surly turning around.

Going to Burlington next week to simply chill and find myself again with my buddy.

Red Blond head where have you been my whole life?